tru feelings

2 u this might seem like bull but 2 me this was my life my ne n every want n desire. something that i kind of always wanted till it turned bad. it went from i love yous to arguments all within a day. we argued so much i don't even remember the first argument. tears struck my face on a daily n my eyes pained ever so often. damn this is really hard. u eva found someone that u wanted to spend ur whole life wit but the thing is they made u feel like shit n after dealin wit them u have low self esteem. fuckkkkk im about to cry. damn this is crazy fuck it im about to jus say wats on my mind. its been 2days since we broke up n thou i ave a smile on my face inside im dyin becuz he was my everything my soul my heart my stone my life. like u dont understand i loved this man wit all my heart n sometimes it jus felt like i was workin alone like i was always waitin by the fone for him to call or lookin out the window wishin hed jus pull up n everytime he fucked me ova i forgave him becuz i loved him i would have did ne n everything for him. which sux i wish so badly every time that something bad happened that it woild jus get betta becuz each day i stayed my feelings grew deeper but my soul was getting messed up in the process. i thought we would jus progress but everytime we tried it again it jus got more n more fucked up. im hurt cuz i love him so much n i really dont want him out my life but can i actually still be friend the same person that almost destroyed me unintentionally. damn its really deep pain throbs thur my soul n the confidence i once had is no longer along for the ride. he penetrates me every thought n now hes gone. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i hate my life... dyin right now in a bed that i made for my self. ill foreva love 010309 wit tears in my eyes n a broken heart hell always be my knight in shining armer